Ticket for one, Please.

I am not sure what came to mind when I lead myself to this blogger spot. In truth, I am a horrible and frantic writer but I hope this will help pace myself. In spite of that awful introduction, I do know what my goals are for this blog. I want to inspire not only you but myself. I want to have faith in my actions and feel that my conscious mind has made the right decisions, even if I walked around the horses ass to get here. (p.s. I am horrible with sayings too!) I have searched, as long as my brain can handle, for someone real. I real yoga teacher that believes in themselves but has doubts. After only finding the people that seem to have it together or have some answer to their own personal enlightenment. I decided I should maybe write about my own journey. My everyday journey of all the negative, positive, and enlightening thoughts of my conscious mind. So here it goes....

I am a yoga teacher. I don't mean a yoga teacher that has just started teaching because I use to be a dancer, who has already got the flexibility down with perfect grace. Not that I am against anyone who can put a foot over their head or all the very gifted teachers out there. I mean, I didn't start stretching my hamstrings until I was Twenty! In contrast, I think this is what makes me a good yoga teacher. I have the memory of what it feels like to have back pain. How it feels to be totally new in a class that EVERYBODY knows what is going on but me.

I can remember my first class. Looking at all the people around me with perfect downward facing dogs. NOT judging them, but me. Wondering how they make it look so easy while my arms are burning, as I am fully unaware that the teacher is giving me personal instructions on what I need to do to enhance this "resting posture!" Uh … Huh. I believe after a while she physically pushes on my shoulders and asks (NOTE: at what I found to be louder then our inside voices) why I cant relax my humped shoulders. The truth, back problems has been my M.O. since grade school. My mother use to threaten me with a back brace if I didn’t stand up straight and after that I class I thought that maybe she should have followed thru. When I took my training I was singled out for my sway back, commonly referred to as lordosis. I thought I was never going to look perfect enough be this respected instructor of the yoga!

After teaching my first class I knew in my heart that is was my purpose. It seemed to an inside secret that people could be attracted to someone that understood differences and mild setbacks. The truth, We all want someone who is willing to lead us to feel better in our own bodies without judgment of whatever road we followed to get to this place. That road brought us all to yoga and to that wanting of having a community that would support our present decisions.

Maybe I never was a dancer but I know that, today, I have found a dance that shows my own perfect grace. One ticket for the show, please.

Love and Light