Let things come to you.

These past few weeks and months have been a series of ups and downs ( I am not only talking about me)!  Clearly the earth is shifting in ways that people are living in fear of its changes and what could come next.  My emotions seem to be a direct reflection of what people everywhere are suffering.   In short, I seem to be drawn in an obsessive state that harbors fears of the changes in my life.

The other day my yogi tea told me, "let things come to you."  Shortly after reading this, I became over-whelmed with fear that aroused beginning stages of  impatience. As mention before in my "indefinitely late" blog, that I believe the universe will provide me with whatever I need and within reason. Only my fear lies in the time it takes for the universe to bring these "things" forth, and this is where impatience becomes psycho-bitch!

I came across Daily.om blog Honoring Life Change- The wisdom in fear is morning.  The starting line states, "Anything worth doing will always have some fear attached to it."  Ok.  This is good... everybody goes through it, I mean why would there be a reassuring blog to the public!! In short this blog told me:  To realize that this is where we question if our new goals are really what we desire. To begin to comfortably move on we need to start letting go of the past, just like a snake that sheds its old skin. To practice non-attachment towards our life as it once was. In truth, once-upon-a-time we always knew that we would be right here, making life decisions that were too scary and often having difficulty with connecting to what is the right choice for us. The article ends by giving advice that I already knew but need to be reminded of: To sit with my fears and impatience and internally discuss this dialogue, so that I can allow new doors to open and be reassured why old ones need to be closed.

Discuss.  Share.   Remember your calm being that practices patience.    Be Love to all, even yourself.

What gives you life?

There is a force within which gives you life--seek that.
In your body lies a priceless gem--seek that.
O wandering soul, if you want to find the greatest treasure,
don't look outside, Look inside and seek that. -Rumi

Indefinitely Late

What part does timing play in the schemes of the universe? The universe can put one person in someone's life and that one person stays for five minutes. In that Five minutes someone would converse with this one person, watch them live, and then immediately watch them die. Someone else could have known that one person for a lifetime but never saw them die, only knew how they lived. Which person knew them better? Which person mourned their death longer? The universe could also give someone a lover. The lover was persistent in loving that someone, but someone was afraid of commitment with the lover. It took one accident to take the lover away and left someone wondering what that timing had to do with the lover's appearance in their life.

My blog today starts off dark. But isn't that what timing can be sometimes? I found out yesterday that the father of a dear high school friend died of a heart attack. I do not know their story but I can't help think what this time means for my friend? Although I did not know the man very well, I can recall some vivid memories with him. He was a young strong man to have a heart attack, they said he had an enlarged heart. He looked similar to a very charming Ichabod Crane and had a infectious goofy wit. I remember his joy and ability to engage in conversation even with a shy and goofy 12 year old, like me. His timing in my life was a small moment but one that inspired goals to become a similar persona. I knew that one day I wanted to be as charming as this man when I became a parent. As his sons have grown, they carry his stature and charming looks with his engaging joy and goofy wit. I hope that one day, maybe years from now, that the memories are not of his death that happened during the horrible timing of their struggling twenties. I hope one day that the sharp pain is gone and the cherished memories are allowed to flood back in.

The part of timing in the universe is not always dark, so forgive me for being a little morbid this day. I wanted to pay my respects to My friend and his father. I will leave you with a story of Indefinitely late.

While Traveling in Northern India, I was waiting for my train from Jaipur to New Delhi. That morning a bomb threat was called in and I was apparently unaware of this. From 6:30am to 11am I waited in this train station, watching the screen give an hour delay on every delay. I met a wonderful young girl and her mother and during 3 hrs of waiting we exchange jewelry and addresses.( Note: her address was to go to the third dirt road, past the sheep pasture, and to house 2 on the right!! The American post man still thinks I am crazy.) During this time I found out that my train was no longer delayed but Indefinitely late! Whatever that means. So, I decided to hop on a 12 hour bus ride back south. When I got to the bus I realized I was the only woman in a bus full of men. I lucked out with a charming man who sat next to me. He told me of his daughters and how scared he would be if they were traveling alone. We talked about the things to not trust in India and things that were wonderful about his country. When we got off the bus he helped me find a Rickshaw and to my hotel. I knew then, as I am still very thankful now, that all three of these people were a blessing in disguise. Here timing brought me closer to the people of India. Also, comfort that the universe will do its best to take care of me when I am in sticky situations, or when I think timing's part is just darn horrible.

We can view timing's part in the universe as good and/or bad. I think timing's part is a lesson. Sometimes it may feel bad but the lesson always teaches us something that is worth living for.

Love and light
And may timing sometimes be indefinitely late!

Ticket for one, Please.

I am not sure what came to mind when I lead myself to this blogger spot. In truth, I am a horrible and frantic writer but I hope this will help pace myself. In spite of that awful introduction, I do know what my goals are for this blog. I want to inspire not only you but myself. I want to have faith in my actions and feel that my conscious mind has made the right decisions, even if I walked around the horses ass to get here. (p.s. I am horrible with sayings too!) I have searched, as long as my brain can handle, for someone real. I real yoga teacher that believes in themselves but has doubts. After only finding the people that seem to have it together or have some answer to their own personal enlightenment. I decided I should maybe write about my own journey. My everyday journey of all the negative, positive, and enlightening thoughts of my conscious mind. So here it goes....

I am a yoga teacher. I don't mean a yoga teacher that has just started teaching because I use to be a dancer, who has already got the flexibility down with perfect grace. Not that I am against anyone who can put a foot over their head or all the very gifted teachers out there. I mean, I didn't start stretching my hamstrings until I was Twenty! In contrast, I think this is what makes me a good yoga teacher. I have the memory of what it feels like to have back pain. How it feels to be totally new in a class that EVERYBODY knows what is going on but me.

I can remember my first class. Looking at all the people around me with perfect downward facing dogs. NOT judging them, but me. Wondering how they make it look so easy while my arms are burning, as I am fully unaware that the teacher is giving me personal instructions on what I need to do to enhance this "resting posture!" Uh … Huh. I believe after a while she physically pushes on my shoulders and asks (NOTE: at what I found to be louder then our inside voices) why I cant relax my humped shoulders. The truth, back problems has been my M.O. since grade school. My mother use to threaten me with a back brace if I didn’t stand up straight and after that I class I thought that maybe she should have followed thru. When I took my training I was singled out for my sway back, commonly referred to as lordosis. I thought I was never going to look perfect enough be this respected instructor of the yoga!

After teaching my first class I knew in my heart that is was my purpose. It seemed to an inside secret that people could be attracted to someone that understood differences and mild setbacks. The truth, We all want someone who is willing to lead us to feel better in our own bodies without judgment of whatever road we followed to get to this place. That road brought us all to yoga and to that wanting of having a community that would support our present decisions.

Maybe I never was a dancer but I know that, today, I have found a dance that shows my own perfect grace. One ticket for the show, please.

Love and Light